They had jobs, but feminists weren’t satisfied; every other woman had to get one too. So they opened fire on homemakers with a savagery that still echoes throughout our culture. A housewife is a “parasite,” [Betty] Frieden writes; such women are “less than fully human” insofar as they “have never known a commitment to an idea.” – David Gelernter, Drawing Life, Surviving the Unabomber, Free Press, 1997, p. 95
If you look across the Muslim blogosphere there are a lot of Muslim sisters with sites proclaim themselves as “Muslim feminists” and things of that nature. When I began blogging two years ago the left of center Muslim blogs were dominant. Religiously, most of these Muslims were Sufis or “progressives” and some were more traditional than others. Politically the majority of these bloggers had veered far to the left particularly in matters of culture and you heard a lot of talk about feminism, the evil of men, rants revealing “white guilt”, and even snobbery and elitism at times (which as an American, I was upset by).
That has changed over the last two years. In addition to myself you have people like Tariq Nelson, Umm Adam, Hood Bradford, Muslimmatters and others who are now blogging in addition to someone like Abu Sinan who was blogging before me. On some issues I agree with these bloggers and on others I do not; but what all of us provide is a more traditional view of Islam and a world view that is not subservient to modern secular humanistic thought. Collectively we have addressed many issues effectively and many others we just have not had enough time for. One of the issues I feel that we have not done a good enough job with is in countering feminism.
Today you are seen as an evil caveman if you even say that you believe that feminism is a bad thing and Muslims, and other people of faith, are afraid to even mention their opposition to feminism. We even have traditional Muslim bloggers who say they are feminists and believe it is not in contradiction to Islam and paint feminism in benign terms and it is hardly that.
From its origins in the Secular West feminism has spread like a cancer through the entire world as a modern version of Western imperialism. However, I want to stay here in America with my analysis, and examine what feminism has done here in the post 1960′s era since it has become dominant.
There were always working women, either because the family was too poor and needed two incomes or the family was wealthy and had servants to care for children. However, traditionally this was seen as less than desirable and when I woman worked it was to support the family. Today women work so they can shop till they drop and women have fueled the culture of consumerism and materialism that we see today.
With the mother not at home children are often left to strangers or low-wage workers in daycare centers to look after them until they get home. These are people who have no real interest in the future of the child and no connection with the child. This leaves the child feeling unwanted and unimportant to their mother who views their career as more important than their children. For poor families this time is often a time when kids get into trouble and experiment with sex, alcohol, drugs and crime.
With no woman at home the grandparents and elderly people, who took care of their grown children when they were young, are thrown to the side like trash and put into nursing homes where they can rot and die. Instead of dying in the company of those they have loved and taken care of they will either die alone or in the company of indifferent strangers.
With no clear head of the household there is no order and a constant fight for power which has sent millions of couples to divorce or thera-pimps. The parents use the children to vie for power by spoiling them and trying to win their favor. Because of this, the kids have no discipline as the male disciplinarian has been stripped of his role (and many times his manhood) and the kids run the show. We see this today as your average high school girl goes to school dressed like a hooker with clothes her parents bought for her and there is a general breakdown in respect for elders in society.
A breakdown in traditional gender relations and the criminalization of masculinity has caused a breakdown in the moral and social order. It is the support of women which has brought about the legalization of child murder (abortion), the normalization of homosexuality, the normalcy of divorce and the acceptance of women having children out of wedlock. Each on of these things causes a variety of social problems in its own right. People that are more responsible are delaying having children or forgoing having children at all, while the irresponsible are having several children – often out of wedlock. And the problems multiply.
Instead of a society of moral absolutes and things that are right and wrong, feminism has brought a society where everyone wants to feel everyones pain and sit on everyone else’s couch and just be pals. No one is right and no one is wrong, lets just all be happy and if it feels good do it. There is no higher moral force, whatever makes you happy is fine.
If you want to cheat on your spouse, that is fine if it makes you feel good.
If you want to throw your parents in a nursing home because they are interfering with your watching of Sex in the City that is fine.
And if you get your kicks out of being beaten by a woman in leather while having a ball in your mouth who am I to say that you are wrong?
That is what feminism has brought America and what it has brought the rest of the world is worse. Europe is dying because of feminism through a form of slow suicide as people are failing to have children and if this continues the economies of those ancient nations will collapse in fifty years. Feminism will kill more off in Europe than the armies of Hitler and Stalin combined and will reduce Europe in a cemetery to a scarcely populated place over run by Muslim immigrants living off of the past and producing nothing new and less there is a move towards tradition.
Japan will see these problem sooner and as they have no tradition to gravitate towards will collapse sooner than Europe. The jury is out on India and China and the issue is much less clear because of the massive populations.
What will this leave? It will leave those who have stayed upon the fitrah (the natural way) to have success and that is why it is incumbent that the Muslim Ummah not surrender to decedent feminism. This is also true of places like Ireland and Latin America which have managed to largely avoid this cancer, this avoidance will be their salvation, and the acceptance of feminism will be their death.
In closing, I will say that I believe in an organic feminism that seeks to eradicate all of the foolish ways that have arisen in tradition with regard to women such as female genital mutilation, forced marriage, killing of baby girls, “honor killings” and the like. One should not think that treating women with fairness equals to feminism.
Great post. There are many things i admire about the West but I despise this attitude that as long as its not hurting anyone its perfectly fine to do whatever you want. Morality is no longer a set of values found in one society. A Moral act that is in harmony with any faith is viewed as backward in today’s society. Incest relationships would become normal in time just as homosexuality is now. As Muslims we should do as we are commanded to do, forbid evil and enjoin goodness.
I’ve said it before and will say it again; the decline of the American family can be traced back to the Feminist Movement. I will admit there is A LOT Of misogyny happening in this world and our Muslim communities.
On a lighter note, I find it amusing during my daily commute when men no longer get up to give a woman his seat and SOME women bad mouth them….aaah, didn’t we get what we wanted (equal to men! – Apparently they’re tired at the end of the day as well LOL).
There is nothing wrong with a woman staying home and raising her children. The only issues I have with SOME SAHMs are nasty homes and children who are staring at the TV all day. I swear if I read one more story of how arduous it is to take care of “my children,” and keep the house clean, and look good for my man, I’m going to scream! Really, what the CUSSWORD are you doing all CUSSWORD day?! Why is your child entering KG w/out the ability to properly hold a pencil? And w/out knowing basic colors and shapes? Or how to read sight words?
Umar… where did you get that throwaway line that JAPAN (of all countries!) is gonna “go down” first???
BILL
Leila! I knew that a blogpost on feminism would bring you outta the woods! How are you Sister? I miss your blog!
Great stuff Umar.
What people are lacking, as usual, is balance. Men and women are not equal in what they can do, but they are and should be equal in rights.
Men and women compliment each other, this is what Islam, Judaism and Christianity all teach. The modern feminist movement has destroyed the balanced roles that each gender has.
Leila is right, there has a been a turn of events that is now seeing incest and other crimes against nature being ordained as normal.
Incest is now legal in many European states where secularisation has conquered. Expect more of the same in the future.
William,
Japan is projected to be the first country to decline in population because of birth control and the ultra consumer society. Europe will follow it. If it were not for immigration, the decline would be faster. Those countries will not maintain their past cultures and ethnicities and Allah knows best
Abu Sinan,
I recently watch a short news story on a brother and sister who’s fighting to have the law changed, so they can get married. If I remember correctly, they were in Germany and have one child together.
Muslim feminists are the concubines of the left.
The ostensible tolerance of the left demands inclusion of all “others,” especially those that face discrimmination and bigotry from other ideological quarters. In fact, the left is narrow-minded, and chafes at any opposition to the sovereignty of base desires. Liberals need “progressive” Muslims to prove their inclusivity while cheerfully ignoring the challenges that Islam presents to them.
Muslim feminists are always on call to fulfill these fantasies, usually for their own personal or professional gain.
BintWill, I believe the couple have three children. Anyway, in many European countries incest is no long illegal. It seems they were “unlucky” to be German.
Umar……..many European countries have been declining in population for years. This is some of where the “Muslim menace” fears come from.
Europe has a current population of 728 million, this might be reduced to 658 by 2050.
http://www.population-awareness.net/older.html
mmmm im not sure i agree with your evaluation to be honest, your putting all the social ills of society at the foot of feminism without real logical proof.
I absolutely detest mysogyny and feel that it is responsible for its fair share of social ills, as a muslim woman i am feed up with the double standards and sexist which many muslims hold very dear to their hearts. Im not a progressive or feminist but i often get labelled one just for affirming what can be found simply in the quran and sunnah, mainly that a woman is not less intelligent or able than a man, of course yes there are clear differences but the issue really is about worth and not sameness.
On the topic of working mothers, then let me give you an example of an alternative lifestyle which can be found in some muslim countries. In this situation families live in an extended network whereby you find generations of the same family living as neighbours, sometimes in the same house or complex . When a child is born the mother has many hands helping her out, from grandma, cousin, aunt etc the mother is not expected to do very much its the philosophy of a village raises a child if you can imagine that, now in this situation whether a mother works outside of the home there is no stigma and the child does not loose out as it is being cared for in the same way as if the mother was at home. Now this is usually complemented by reasonable working hours which sees the mother reach home early and creches at the workplace. The point i am trying to make here is that, a mother working does not have result in children loosing out of parenting if society is willing to make things easier for women to balance her career and homelife.
Also feminism is not one monolithic view anylonger there are many different types, so not all femininist would agree with author you quoted at the start of your article.
My personal view on feminism….well i have not made up my mind yet, in all honesty i have read very little feminist authors however i have always seen it as a reaction to the injustices in modernist thought which was men making the rules up as they went along, leaving women out in the process so naturally women are going to object it makes sense. However we are muslim and Islaam has given us our rights, although many muslim men seem to go out of their ways to strip them away from us.
Allahu alim
I have leftist leanings and I’m an academic, but don’t get it twisted I’m not buying into any “isms.”
I don’t see how the feminist movement in the West has done anything for Black women, poor women, working class women, and women of color. It wasn’t like Black women were fighting for work, they always had to work. They often got better jobs than their men because society is always threatened by black men. The feminist movement is basically an elitist white woman’s movement. The breakdown of the Black family was not due to the feminist movement, but due to State intervention, which forced the men out. When you read feminist discourse you’ll find how excluded women of color are from the movement. In fact, there is a recent article where white feminists accuse women of color of being the new oppressors of white women. (I’ll get the link shortly).
I don’t think that many leftists in America are really down for a paradigm change that is necessary for truly radical thought. Many liberals are paternalistic in the inclusivity, at best. They are not ready to accept non-Western critiques of their modes of thinking (i.e. Political Islam, Liberation Theology, or African Socialism both of which incorporates spirituality and faith) This is why I feel that the left is so narrow in scope and really unable to deal with the challenge of political Islam. We really can’t approach Islam from either conservative or liberal frameworks. Instead, our faith should be the framework that we approach any political ideology.
Feminism does come in many different forms, from the Betty Friedan feminists to the pornography feminists…and everything in between, and beyond. When I used to teach undergrads about feminism, we would always present it as “opposition to patriarchy.” With this definition, I contend that Islam and feminism are fundamentally incompatible. If defined as “opposition to misogyny,” then Islam and feminism become more compatible (except for the feminists who equate patriarchy and misogyny, and the Muslims who equate misogyny and Islam).
Interesting.
Brother Musa, can you please elaborate on what you mean by the differences between Patriarchy and Misogyny….and the similarities between patriarchy and islam that you alluded to.
Thanks
Good one Umar…
ummreem.wordpress.com has a couple on misogny as well esp. this one
Btw, your links are messed up…
OK.
I don’t think anyone can deny that Islam is patriarchal, at least in the way that patriarchy is traditionally defined. Islam encourages men to be jealously protective of women. Islam allows polygyny. The Quran gives men a degree of authority over women, and appoints men as the maintainers of women. These beliefs and practices give feminists fits, but as a Muslim, I believe they are perfectly in line with our human nature. These beliefs and practices are not harmful to women in the least.
Misogyny literally means a “hatred of women,” and it is an epidemic in the East and West. FGM reflects a hatred of female sexuality. The reduction of women to sexual objects is misogyny. This list goes on and on.
So, if feminism means individualism for girls, or materialism for girls, or secularism for girls, it is incompatible with Islam.
If it means an effort to rid the world of injustice against women (within the boundaries of Islam) then it is a necessary step to our collective reform and renewal.
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Ah… I see where you got that from, Umar. Actually though, Russia has been and is continuing to demographically self-destruct and as you yourself mention… Europe isn’t exactly thriving in terms of the birth rates of native Europeans. Japan is 207th out of 223 nations surveyed, ahead of Italy and Germany, but interestingly enough, behind Russia. (Sorry… got caught up in the trivia! Anyway… thanks for explaining!) (*GRIN*)
BILL
Masha’Allah, great post!
I think that we should take a lesson from this and take the opportunity to look at ourselves and straighten ourselves out… in Muslim homes in the West, I think that we need to clearly define our beliefs regarding the man and woman’s role – in the home and in public. We need to look to the Qur’an and Sunnah and base our practices on them… too many Muslims are getting sucked into the trap of thinking that because ‘women can do anything a man can’ (which isn’t true), they SHOULD go out and do whatever men are doing (which is of course also wrong!).
Although I’m not sure whether this is related to feminism and misogyny, I’d also just like to say that I’d like to see a return to chivalry (in this case, defined as courtesy towards women, not all that romantic love stuff). I read the seerah of the Prophet (SAW) and how he dealt with women – including (if not especially) non-mahram women – and wish that Muslim guys nowadays treated women the same way.
And let me hasten to add, it’d be nice to see the same of Muslim women! A return to true hayaa’ (modesty) in our dealings with males is something we all need to do, I think…
-Mouse
Subhanallah, Umar are you reading my mind?I was thinking about this recently and I came to the same conclusion.You know what’s worse is that many Muslim women are buying this “feminism” and taking the worst of it which will contribute to the disappearance of what we have left of our islamic values.
One thing I question is why you limit the concept of work to materialism and trying to wear the pants. I’m a college instructor and I get a deep sense of fulfillment from my profession. I know a number of Muslim women social workers, artists, teachers, doctor, lawyers, seamstress who really love what they do. I just don’t believe you should ban people from things they are good at doing. Not to mention the fact that Muslim women NEED women doctors and teachers. Who is suppossed to examine us???
I think it is much too simplistic to lay the whole decline of the modern family on feminism. I think that the emphasis on the isolated nuclear family (the perfect consumer family) rather than extended networks of community are more to blame. Not to mention the modern welfare state, crack, etc. We can even go back to slavery when kinship between African-Americans was disrupted by white men who wanted the mighty dollar at the expense of African-American families. (I think we all know this sordid history).
If anything a lot of feminists are against the commercialization and consumerism that you describe. The “feminism” that you represent is such an abstraction it is difficult for me to really grasp what you are arguing.
I do think some forms of masculinity are criminal! Let’s face it the masculinity celebrated in the West and in the East is not the type of masculinity practiced by our beloved Prophet (peace be upon him). The world would be a much better place if Muslims (and non-Muslims) would understand the way Rasululah (p.b.u.h) treated women and children. Most of us just don’t get it…Being a man is not about working all day while never forming those special connections between your boy and girl children. It is hard to imagine that most modern “masculine” type guys could even conceive of the special relationship between Fatima and Prophet Muhammed (p.b.u.h.). I don’t know. Allahu Alam.
I agree with your assessment Samira. I’m definitely not a big fan of feminism, in particular the vilification of stay at home moms by some of the more extreme ones, but I certainly don’t think it was the sole or even major contributor to the destruction of families in America. I think it was more of a combination of a lot of factors. And I personally do think that in the beginning feminism did have its benefits when the whole movement was beginning.
And the example you gave of women in today’s society who work merely to buy nice things, not because they need to I also consider to be a bit baseless and slightly offensive. Women like that I think represent a small small minority of working women. All of the women that I know (including my mother) who work outside the home do so because they enjoy it and feel a sense of accomplishment doing it and are generally good at what they do. Not because they want to go out and buy a whole bunch of stuff. And lets face it, not all women are as “motherly” as others. Some can sit at home with their 5 children all day taking care of them and taking care of the house, cooking, cleaning etc and some would probably go crazy if they had to do that all day. I see nothing wrong with admitting that.
is there a differnce between a woman who is materialistic and a avid consumer or secular and a man who does the same? I would say no.
Women in islaam are individuals brother, we are free women whose only master is Allaah. im surprised anyone is challenging that fact.
I dont like islaam being equated with patriarchy as patriarchy has too many negative connotations, i wholeheartedly accept that men have a qawwamah (degree) over women and as the scholars have explained this means degree of responsibility.In islaam our rights are protected and the rights balance one another. Unlike patriarchy which is a male constructed, maledominated vision of the world. Islaam and Allaah are far above that.
Combine what mercy and Margari Hill Aziza said and you have my opinion on the matter. That’s all I gotta say!
“…I don’t think anyone can deny that Islam is patriarchal, at least in the way that patriarchy is traditionally defined…”
One point that I find many of those who paint Islam as being mysogynist by nature have trouble explaining is the early acceptance of Islam by several matriarchal socities, in addition to the fact that Islam has remained a primary social force in those same societies.
But those types have never been ones to bring much empirical evidence for their claims.
“All of the women that I know … who work outside the home do so because they enjoy it and feel a sense of accomplishment doing it and are generally good at what they do”
True, they may be good at what they do. A man may be good at bass guitar on amatuer night. He may like to do it, and gain sense of accomplishment from playing a good set. However there are priorities.
Women are indispensible for the proper functioning of society (and here I mean outside the home).
I dont think that this is the issue here. The real issues are found in the responsibilities that both men and women have placed upon them naturally and religiously.
If men are to expected to fulfill their responsibilities or otherwise gain the ire of society at large, then women (if we’re speaking on equality) should expect the same.
We have tons of cases of dead beat dads, yet we never hear of the dead beat moms (who probably have custody also).
In much of modern discourse irresponsibility is promoted as a right when we speak of women, yet is criminilized when it comes to men. (and yes there are exceptions).
Many men are not as willing to take up the responsibilities of a man these days because of this point. Which leads to another reason for the break down of family and mistreatment of women: the commoditization of female sexuality.
Umar makes one of the most important points above: the lack of a concept of right and wrong.
Islam seeks justice.
I agree that patriarchy has a negative connotation. I don’t rush to use that term, but the fact is that many would consider the aforementioned aspects of Islam, and many others, as patriarchal. If you look at UNICEF and other international orgs, there is a big effort to fight all “gender bias” in law. This is a direct attack against the shariah, which is undeniably gender-sensitive on certain issues. Tragically, it also creates unnecessary tension around an issue that it already very touchy. Thus the value of distinguishing between patriarchy (which is more complex, involves a wide range of social practices, has built in checks and balances, etc. ) and misogyny.
I also think it is a cop out that Muslim men are extended full participation in modernity as a “necessity” (despite doubtful aspects of many fields, careers, etc.) while women are excluded.
Thank you Umar for that brave post. These problems in society were strong signs to me in my wandering path that led to Islam.
“In islaam our rights are protected and the rights balance one another. Unlike patriarchy which is a male constructed, maledominated vision of the world. Islaam and Allaah are far above that.”
Wonderfully stated. This is why so many women run towards Islam and this is why women who have been mistreated by misogynists constructions of Islam still hold firmly to their faith Masha’Allah!
Hood, as far as dead beat moms and dads …it really is a shame. Adults forget the rights that children have over them. It really is about a selfishness that this culture breeds. People have kids but feel like they can keep living as teenagers forever!
AssalamuAlaikum
The Muslilms live the purest and most respectable lifestyles of ANYONE– yet we are riduculed and humiliated because of it. Ironic, eh?
Let’s be clear about deadbeats, the deadbeat mothers (and fathers) reveal themselves via their children. Not properly raising your children makes you… A DEADBEAT. One of my coworkers today thought it was amusing that her daughter asked an obese woman, if she’s fat. Apparently with all of her “accomplishments” she failed to teach a child her place.
Emma, we are ridiculed because of our actions. Very few, if any of us live a pure and respectable life. If one would look at Muslims, they find a bunch of hyprocites and liars. Alhumdulillah I never met any Muslims before converting. Allahu Alim, but I would have fled.
Amish and Mennomites (sp) live pure and simply lives. Mennomites can easily be mistaken for Muslim, so tell me why are they NOT ridiculed? Perhaps it’s their humble and sincere nature (something most of us lack though we know better)
“Mennomites (sp)” = Mennonites :)
“Alhumdulillah I never met any Muslims before converting. Allahu Alim, but I would have fled.”
Wow, before I started reading blogs I had no idea converts felt this way. But literally every blog I’ve read by converts they have expressed this same sentiment. I’m amazed actually in a sad kind of way :(
Apologies to Umar from digressing from the post, but that really is an interesting point you brought up about the amish and mennos BintWill. I never really thought about it before but I truly have never heard anyone ridicule them for the way they look or live. And by all accounts they look more “extreme” than muslims and the amish in particular certainly adhere to a much more strict/rigid (couldn’t think of better way to describe, sorry) lifestyle than probably 99% of the world’s population.
Well… I agree with most of this but I do believe you have to define which type of “feminism” you’re against. There is “First Wave” feminism (women should have the right to vote and own property), “Second Wave” (circa the “Sexual Revolution”) and now “Third Wave” (less radical than Second Wave). A good book on the subject (albeit a bit old, needs an update IMO) is “Who Stole Feminism”. Published in the early ’90s but still a good overview of some of the struggles between the more moderate and radical types of “Feminism”.
Emma writes:
“The Muslilms live the purest and most respectable lifestyles of ANYONE– yet we are riduculed and humiliated because of it. Ironic, eh?”
In theory yes, in practice no. Have you ever been to a Muslim country? It is little different there than it is here, except in the Muslim country they like to deny it happens, at least in the West there is honesty and it is in the open.
Islam encourages men to be jealously protective of women.
Is that one of the purposes of hijab? I’ve noticed that I (a non-Muslim) feel very protective towards hijabis (and especially if they’re also wearing jilbab).
George,
I always felt jealously protective, even before I was Muslim. It is the natural disposition. However, our society teaches men that they are evil and domineering for feeling this way.
When a young man comes to take out a young lady on a four hour date, to see a two hour movie, I guarantee you that her father, somewhere deep inside, is screaming “NOOO!!!!!” But these days he just smiles and waves goodbye.
There are many reasons for hijab, all of them good and wise. This is certainly one of them.
There are many reasons for hijab, all of them good and wise. This is certainly one of them.
Why do many people in the West regard hijab as a symbol of oppression? Is it because they are starved for sun (modern Western civilization emerging in cloudy NW Europe, unlike Islam which emerged from sunny Arabia) and view covering up as a burden? Think of the popularity of sun-and-beach holidays!
Back to the feminism issue, what do you think about the argument that more women went to work because the economic value of the housewife declined (due to the invention of household gadgets, and the rise of fast food restaurants)? This argument was brought up in Barbara Ehrenreich’s The Hearts of Men.
Do you think the hijab has an influential effect on the community, specially the men?
My gf mentioned that in the religious/rural areas of Iran, the more hijabs are worn, the worst the men would behave. It would be non-stop grab-ass until you can find a cab. It was automatically assumed that no hijab equaled whore.
I am sure all of us has heard similar stories in Arab and European cities.
Doesn’t it seem that in practice, the hijab creates the opposite behavior of what is intended?
As far as feminism goes, I have to agree that things went too far. Equal opportunity and equal choices shouldn’t necessarily mean vilifying and mocking traditional families. But keeping in mind that the west is a pendulum society, I believe we will once again swing towards traditionalism and back again.
Hijab is part of a whole system of gender relations, which also includes a fairly clear prohibition on non-stop grab-ass. The men you describe need a public whoopin, but they won’t get it.
I am the last to defend the actions of men in Iran, Saudi, and other countries. These societies expect women to shoulder the full burden of piety. At the same time, they devalue them.
You make some excellent points Umar, but don’t you think it’s going a little overboard to pin all the blame on feminists for worldwide anarchy and destruction? I believe every person, man and woman, regardless of their views, are responsible for their actions. I am certain men, as well as women, play their part in the rotting of society.
And, I know of MANY women who work because their husbands cannot get their act together and support their family or insist on working a low paying job because they have neither the ambition nor drive to improve their situations.
I also feel that some children are better off if both their parents worked because they are better cared for by strangers in a daycare than at home (sad but true).
I understand your angst but please be fair in your portrayals!
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After reading this post again—I just don’t agree. What has irked me from the beginning is the title “In the kitchen Masha’Allah”. While most of Umar’s blog complains about Western imperialist secular feminism (which is indeed real) he chooses to title his blog with the worse of 1950s American style gender stuff. It seems like an uncomfortable blending of Islam and American style masculine crap–thus a woman belongs in the kitchen. So I read some hadith-some stories of the sahabi today and it just doesn’t match up to this “in the kitchen stuff” that is entirely modern, secular and quintessentially American.
One thing I learn from reading about the women companions is the importance of character, of faith and of courage. This seems to have little to do with cooking a good meatloaf.
Samira, get in the kitchen girl!! Your feminist ideas are causing global warming, proliferation of nuclear weapons, economic exploitation of the developing world, gang violence, sectarian violence, extremism, and all sorts of political chaos. Oh wait, these problems have little to do with the feminist onslaught.
Samira,
If Umar titled this post “In the Home, Masha Allah,” would that be objectionable?
Or more to the point, how do you envision Muslims women embodying character, faith, and courage (add to it intellect, ambition, service, or any other noble quality) in the modern world, within the boundaries of Islam?
I realize that this may be one of the defining questions of our era, with no easy answers, but I’d be interested to hear your thoughts.
“Or more to the point, how do you envision Muslims women embodying character, faith, and courage (add to it intellect, ambition, service, or any other noble quality) in the modern world, within the boundaries of Islam?”
I guess this is what I struggle with: the difference between ideals and reality. I am going to broach this topic from my understanding of the transformations in family structure in Africa and my own understanding of modernity and informal/formal economy. I have a problem with ahistorical views of women’s work and gender divided labor. Technological advances has made women’s work seem a lot easier, but technology has a costs. The difference is between informal economies and formal economies. Before women contributed to mainly in informal economies. Western women are no longer washing clothes by hand, fetching water, making cookware, cooking by scratch, weaving baskets, spinning thread, weaving cloth, sewing garments, mending, producing foodstuffs for times of shortage, pounding or grinding grain, wetnursing, and childrearing. All of these things were productive labor that contributed to the household, but were not part of the monied economy. Women’s work, has therefore gone under the radar of many scholars. It is also devalued by Western feminists who overlook that non-Western women continue to be vital to informal economies that support households. Modernity, in many ways, has undermined women’s traditional values. Women’s productive labor has always been considered valuable, which is the reason why dowries were often paid in traditional societies (a man was paying his wive’s family for the loss of her productive labor). Women’s work has always been hard, and it has often taken her out of the house to perform rigorous tasks. It is interesting, because the only that purdah was fully implemented in societies with strict gender divided labor is when there was a class of slave women. Slave women performed the work (i.e. fetch water, firewood, work in fields) secluded women were unable to do. The end of slavery in many Muslim societies altered family relations, meaning more work for the wives. In Northern Nigeria, young girls perform many of these duties for their mothers. I guess my point is that the secluded woman whose sole duty is to look pretty and throw together a meal is an elite ideal.
I also want to point out the total transformation that modernity brings, for men as well as women. Two of the most notable changes in this regard are urbanization and mass education. Many men who used to work the fields, who never learned to read, would now be attending schools, moving to cities, working in a variety of industries, maybe even accessing social mobility in previously unimaginable ways. As mentioned in an earlier post, I don’t accept the notion that these developments are exclusively suited to men, while women should just passively adapt.
That said, urbanization also brings more contact between men and women, and without restraints, it gets wild. Likewise, given the current mode of professional life, women will always face a tension between their natural role as mothers and other career ambitions. I really don’t beleive that Muslim women should just blindly adopt the common practices of working mothers in this society, though many have no choice.
Like many issues in our communities, I think we are way out of balance on this, and we also tend to prefer existing options over creative solutions. Since people like to keep it real on the blogs, I’d really like to hear how women actually navigate this, how they try to strike a balance. And I’d like to hear from brothers as well.
Frankly, as much as I love my wife’s intellect and would support her career ambitions (if we ever stop having babies) I still want to beat down any man who talks to her. Fortunatley, I’m not someone who’s inclined to give beat downs.
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You can’t say all that about feminism then go back and say well it does do a bit of good. Make up your mind.
This attitude is why I am not Muslim anymore.
A.
Umar, you forget that people (not caricatures) are diverse. I’ve never cooked. My boyfriend cooks all the time – and enjoys it. Does that make him less of a man?
I learned how to shoot a gun when I was very young. Does that make me less of a woman?
My father was always more “present,” even though he did travel frequently, and my relationship with him is much warmer than my relationship with my mother. Is my father less of a man? And did my mother not “fulfill” her “natural” role, because I’ve always felt closer to my father?
My aunt is a mother of three children who can beat up a guy twice her size if need be, is she less of a woman?
Or is my grandmother less of a woman because she spent over 50 years as a doctor, saving people’s lives, talking about AIDS when hardly anyone else around would dare broach the subject?
You might say, “well, that’s not compatible with Islam…” But people are out there, living in the real world. And Islam is about as realistic as it gets – and, mind you, I’m speaking as a non-Muslim here.
I know a Muslim woman who has worked her entire life, just so her children could have a brighter future. In Jordan, a predominantly Muslim country – working moms are the norm, not an abomination. Here is someone who is adored by her kids and her colleagues and the people she helps in her job alike. Is she less of a woman? Or less of a Muslim, for that matter? And is her husband a fool or a bad Muslim because he has no issue with how much his wife has achieved, and because he trusts her?
Personally, I am a *very* jealous woman, always was, always will be. But I know that my man is an individual, and that he’ll be out there for the rest of his working days, interacting with both genders. He’s never given me a reason to mis-trust him, and my jealousy is *my* problem, not his, I do not have the right to lay it at his feet. And this has nothing to do with being female – and everything to do with NOT being selfish.
Men will never bear children. Women will never pee standing up. But we are all human, and our responsibilities to each other are shared.
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