Having spent the weekend in Baltimore and a lot of time there over the last week I can tell you that while the two cities are connected by the Baltimore-Washington Parkway, the MARC train and share an airport the two cities have almost nothing in common.
Washington, DC is the nation’s capitol and it is home to the federal government and the many tens of thousands of jobs that are provided by the government. If you are not working for the government you are working for contractors who work with the government. Other than that you have political and civil-rights types of organizations in DC, think-tanks, lobbyists and various associations. In the suburbs you have a lot of information technology and low-level service jobs worked by immigrants (legal and illegal) and in Northern Virginia a lot of federal law-enforcement and military types and that is the DC area.
If you are not in black DC almost no one is from DC. The majority of the residents of the metro area are rootless coming from other areas of the country and could not even tell you the history of their generic subdivision. People wear Washington Nationals caps who have only lived in the area a month or two and that is the bulk of the fan-base of that generic team. Others cheer for DC United without even knowing the rules to soccer as they have some kind of infatuation with Europe and they think attending soccer matches will make them more European.
The average white resident of DC itself that I have seen around my apartment could be a poster child of globo yuppiedom. Males walking around in tight shirts, coochie-cutter jeans, and man-bags chatting away on I-phones in high-pitched voices on their way to overpriced coffee shops and restaurants. It is impossible to tell who is gay and who is straight and the 20 year old and 50 year old often act just alike. They live in DC far from Cleveland or Kansas where they grew up and are acting out a life void of foundation. Few seem themselves as traditional and the vast majority shun religious observance. Atheism and agnosticism are popular with this crowd and if they dare attend religious services it is more often than not at some watered-down offshoot church or synagogue. Ironically, this group of males that has the greatest inclination towards sexual deviancy and greatest hostility to religion is the group I see more and more misguided Muslim males gravitating to (raised in the man-hating public education system and by clueless or deviant Muslim parents).
Black DC is a tad better, I guess. I mean the people are actually from DC so if they are wearing a Redskins jersey they can do it with pride and not like some moron from Cincinnati who wants to fit in with his buddies so he puts away his Bengals jersey. Black Washingtonians have roots and a foundation in DC. It is their home and there are many hard-working black men in DC, Maryland and even VA holding it down and an educated upper-class associated with Howard University and other elite institutions. Unfortunately, the DC black male also seems to be the pioneer in the “down low” field if such a thing exists and in the federal prison system, after all that tough stuff they talk in Southeast and Northeast, brothers from DC are known for sodomy more than anything else.
How did the DC black male get this way? I think of his path to feminization as different than the white male. Unlike the white male this male is not a product of an anti-male/boy public education system and more than likely were not the sons of middle-class soccer moms who worshiped at the altar of secular anti-male/boy academia and child psychology. No, this male grew-up without a father, and some of their mothers did the best they could do and taught them how to be the best human they could be. Unfortunately, that human is a woman and they are men, so we have a lot of young black men in DC, gay and straight, who look, act and speak like women. The flip side to this is when these males reject their upbringing and have not been taught how to be men they become thugs. Again, Muslims are not immune to this. We have a lot of black Muslim boys with long braids in the DC area sashaying around the Masjid behaving in this way. Like the non-Muslims they were raised by single mothers who were not able to give them the tools they needed to be men; but unlike the non-Muslims they have the guidance of the Sunnah of the Messenger of Allah (s.a.s.) and the example of his sahabah and our pious predecessors only if they would grab onto it and not have it filtered through the PC version.
Baltimore, on the other hand, is a blue-collar industrial city. Johns Hokpins and the Inner Harbor district are the exception and not the rule. Go any direction in Baltimore and look at any race, and this is a black-white city with many times less immigrants and Latinos, and you will find hard-working men who act like men. This comes from the foundation of this industrial port city. Men work hard so they look hard and are toughened for the battles of life and are well-conditioned to be leaders. They spend more time repairing old couches or building them than they do on a shrinks couch.
It is a cheaper and easier city to live in and has a public transit system based on the needs of workers and not just elites going to and from high-paying jobs as in DC. But, even though it is more affordable, it is also a place where the vast-majority of the people you run into anywhere are from the city. They were born and raised there and so were their fathers and grandfathers. If they are a white blue-collar guy in Dundalk, even the son of a blue-collar guy who is now affluent, they carry themselves as men, are more traditional, more likely to be religious, and when they cheer for the Orioles they have been doing so since they were a toddler just as their father did.
Baltimore is an American city. On the bus today I did not hear any foreign accents (not that there is anything wrong with that). When I got to DC and caught the bus to VA I did not hear anyone speaking English. Two cities, two different kinds of manhood are the norm, and if we are to judge by how the Messenger of Allah (s.a.s.), the sahabah and our pious-predecessors lived it is fairly simple to see which one is closer to the model even if both are flawed in their unique ways.
Next: Feminization and the Muslim Groups
13 responses so far ↓
mapp // May 20, 2008 at 3:53 pm |
As Salaam Alaikum,
This has to do with your perception of men and what men should be like. I would see I know where you are coming from if you used Quran verses to back up your ideas of masculinity. And only half-way understand your way of thinking if you used hadiths to examine these situations.
If you were to go to Egypt, which maybe you have, you will see a completly different idea of men. There they hold hands, have less personal space, and wear tight clothes. But are they feminine? Don’t really know because I was a foreigner and thus couldn’t judge society standards.
Bottomline, no one can label anything “Muslim Male Masculine Behavior” because of different cultures— even within subgroups. I mean, people just LOVE labeling emo men as a gay— but that’s only because they do not understand the emo culture. I understand a little bit, therefore it’s hard for me to even think of most of them as gay.
::sighs::
I mean I guess I could be totally with you if you were only speaking of culture and not attributing Islam to it. But until you start bringing up Quran verses over what male masculinity should be, then I’m not with you at all over the feminization of Muslim males, because this is only your standard of thinking which is surely different from many other people of the world.
There’s so much I could say, I’ll guess i’ll just blog.
Bang Gully // May 20, 2008 at 4:01 pm |
As salaam wa laikum Umar,
In your opinion, does a man have to work with his hands to be a true man?
Also, NYC is losing New Yorkers. All the older NYC residents are leaving and you never hear anybody it seems with an actual NY accent in Manhattan anymore. The outer boroughs is where the “real NY” exists but if you tell somebody you live out in Queens, (not Astoria or L.I.C) they think you live out in carajo land. No disrespect to the Midwest, cause I used to live in Ohio too, but most of these cornballs come from the Midwest (Ohio, Wisconsin, etc) .
muslim007 // May 20, 2008 at 4:03 pm |
Interesting observations Brother. As a person who was born and raised in Baltimore, but currently resides in DC, I know exactly what you are saying! It is like living on two different planets. As a person who spent much of my youth trying to get out of BALMore, I realize how much I appreciate it -aside from the horrible public transportation that only useful is you are going to the train station, stadiums, airport or Johns Hopkins and the meth heads.
What I miss most about the home are the nuances and people! They are just down to earth in a gritty (semi-insane) sort of way. There are no Hons in DC. You rarely strike up a conversation with a random person like you do in Baltimore. You cannot get a hack (not referring to computers) in DC. I do not think most people have ever purchased fruits from an A-rab, pronounced AY-rab ( street peddler operating a horse-drawn cart of fresh produce). It is a unique city. I know a lot of development is going on (especially in Hopkin’s shadow), but it is unfortunate that the people who should benefit from it the most will be losing much and gaining little.
MR // May 20, 2008 at 5:01 pm |
One thing I notcied very different in DC/B-more as compared to NYC is that in DC/B-More there are only 2 types of ppl: Black or White. You rarely see Indians, Asians, Lations, Arabs, etc. In NYC you find that there are plenty of whties, blacks, latinos, asians, arabs, indians, etc. It’s very diverse compared to DC/B-More.
You are right about B-More having very few immigrants and foreign visitors. That’s becuase there is nothing in B-More that attracts forieigners like DC.
I’ve been in Southern Maryland near DC for a lil over 2 months now and I’ve yet to see a Halal Fried Chicken joint
In other words:
NYC > DC
Philly – Muslim community in Philly = B-More
The Feminization of Muslim Men? Blogging Umar Lee (pt.1) « A Muslim American for Peace, Prosperity, and Preservation // May 20, 2008 at 5:55 pm |
[...] the first blog of his series, Lee comapares Baltimore men with D.C. men. which he finds the two areas having [...]
Umar Lee aka/ Double H // May 20, 2008 at 6:21 pm |
mapp,
There are a lot of men in tight clothes in Egypt and I have been there and there are a lot of cultures in the Muslim World where this exists and much more (such as an attraction for young boys). However, as Muslims the culture of Egyptians or any other sub-group means nothing, our model is the Prophet Muhammad (s.a.s.), his sunnah, and that of the sahabah and those who were with them and if our culture does not conform to that we need to change our culture not bend the sunnah to fit our fancy. On the other issue you are correct in things vary from society to society; but not wanting to get married, not willing to lead a household, and not submitting to the Creator in pursuit of an “urban lifestyle” are things covered in Islam and universally held.
Bang Gully,
A men does not have to work with his hands but it is good that he knows how to even if he does not do it for a living. Men are encouraged in the Sunnah to be skilled in the arts of combat and to strengthen their bodies. In NYC you have to go to Queens outside of Astoria, just go to Maspeth and Ridgewood they are full of real New Yorkers. In BK for white New Yorkers go to places like Dyker Heights, Sheepshead Bay and Mill Basin and for black New Yorkers Brownsville and East New York. But, if you are going to stay in Manhattan or downtwon BK neighborhoods you will not hear that many New York accents. And, as a Midwesterner, I can tell you we do produce the most cornballs lol.
MR,
I am going to look at the different Muslim communtites because they all reflect the cities in which they exist.
Rasheed Moore // May 20, 2008 at 6:33 pm |
Umar,
Nice piece, one point I would like to make regarding men and emotions nobody is saying a man should be a rock with absolutely no feelings. The Prophet SAW did not condone this as in the famous hadith about one of the a3raab who came to him and told him he never kissed his children as if that were something to be proud of. The Prophet played with his children, was compassionate (when appropriate) with his women, yet he was firm when they crossed the line (as in the case where he boycotted all his wives for a month), and he cried to Allah SWT in sujood. But a man’s emotions should always take a back seat to his reasoning and logic. This is the problem with “emo men” interestingly enough this is also the problem with the “thug” both let their emotions over ride their ability to reason. The “emo man” might just curl up in a corner and cry, while a thug might let his anger get the best of him and beat the crap out of somebody and end up in jail. Sure the “emo man” may make a nice friend to the ladies but both men and women want contrast in their relationships just as no (normal) man wants a dominant controlling female, no (normal) woman wants an “emo man”.
Bang Gully // May 20, 2008 at 7:49 pm |
Umar Lee – I definitely agree with men making sure they’re physically fit and knowing how to fight. You don’t have to be a thug to do that though.
Cosign on Rasheed Moore. Most of the thug acting doesn’t necessarily mean you’re a man.
In my opinion, having a sharp intellect , good moral compass, and common sense is important in being a man. I know people in the hood that have been proud of doing some of the dumbest things I’ve seen and yet claim to be “real.” Nah, that’s not real. That’s just real dumb.
mapp // May 21, 2008 at 3:47 am |
As Salaam Alaikum,
Yes we should never compromise when it comes to behaving the way that the God commands, but I don’t mean to be harsh or anything, but where are you getting your ideas of men from? Your own cultural standards of what a man should be? Or actually from the Quran?
Why is not wanting to get married and not wanting to be a leader feminine?
Even of my concern: Why is not wanting to submit to God, feminine?
yahya187 // May 21, 2008 at 5:31 pm |
Asalaamu 3laikum,
Brother Umar, I’m impressed with your obsevations akh. I’m a native form B-More(the city) itself and I can say that you’re dead on. We’re a working class city and people visiting from NYC and other places that come here to visit kind of underestimate the grit and grind in my city.
There isn’t as much diversity here as in neighboring D.C. and north VA, and the latino community here is limited to a few new immigrants from Mexico and Central America. No Americanized Puerto Ricans and Dominicans here. Most of the white people here are very blue collar types(despite the yuppie population that is coming about in the gay areas of the city around Mount Vernon etc.). It is ironic that the yuppies and the gays tend to inhabit the same neighborhoods here.
The muslim community here is overwhelmingly black American and the immigrant community is dominated by Pakistanis and other Desis. There are some Arabs but their numbers are very small in comparison.
You seems to know a lot about this area. Wish I could’ve ran into while you were here.
May Allah help us all in our endeavors…..
Umar Lee aka/ Double H // May 21, 2008 at 7:18 pm |
Mapp,
We find our standards in the life of the Prophet (s.a.s) and the early Muslims. For exmaple, as you mentioned earlier, men are told not to wear tight clothing, and our models are based on the sunnah.
Safiya Outlines // May 22, 2008 at 12:34 am |
Salaam Alaikum,
Umar my problem with your analysis is that it’s way too superficial. A man wears this, drinks that = not a real man. How do you know? The softly spoken ‘yuppie’ guy, could be working hard support his family, be the sort who teaches his kids to read, defends his home. Be wary of judging people before you really know them.
Everyone is different, and we all have different ways of fulfilling the roles Allah the Almighty laid out for us.
muslim007 // May 23, 2008 at 12:27 pm |
I don’t know how anyone could compare NYC to Baltimore? It’s like comparing chicken to strawberries, it’s totally different. There are plenty of immigrant communities in the md/dc area all you have to do is venture out. Growing up in Baltimore I went to school with black, white (polish and Italian), Native American (very active community at the time) and East Asian kids, but i think this was the exception because of the part of the city i lived in. As time went on and white flight took over it pretty much became all brown. I have noticed aninflux of Latinos in the last couple of years (go to Broadway street near fells point), but you can in no way compare it to the community in NYC.
In terms of the Muslims, just look at ISB (Islamic society of Baltimore). This is pretty much a desi institution (in the worst way, but I have my own bias because of my negative experiences there ). Al nur is a cool community in the Bmore metro that is pretty mixed -imam is Syrian and the community is a mix of desi, Arabs and Americans. There is Dar Al Taqwa in Columbia(burbs of Baltimore) that pretty much 50/50 mix of affluent desis and Arabs. Within the city you will pretty much find all African American communities because that’s who live there.
Maryland DC burbs is definitely more diverse ICM (mixed) Al Huda (mixed) PGMA (mixed) ISL (desi) MCC(desi) ISWA (desi/mixed- imam is Guyanese).
In general immigrant communities so you may want build there own institutions that tend to be culturally centered and tend to stay very close to home. if they do venture out of the burbs to visit an urban masjid they feel like they deserve a badge of honor!
If you are looking for good chicken that is a zabiha, there is a place in Clinton (southern md) that is awesome! You can even get Peruvian style chicken… I hate friend chicken but there is a halal popeyes and a halal New York fried chicken if you want to bring on heart failure